Breathe

 “I can’t breathe!” She gasped between her fit of giggles.

“Stop it!” She rolled around my bedroom floor, hugging herself, choking on her laughter.

“Haha, fine, but give me back my hoodie!”

I gave in and stopped tickling her. Ellie had a knack for stealing my clothes. She steadied her breath.

“NO!” She squealed and bolted to her room.

She also had a knack for being cheeky and insanely stubborn.

I sighed, tired from chasing her around, and plopped on to my bed. One thing Ellie was never deprived of was energy. Her giggles bounced around the house as she closed the door in her room. She was probably plotting to steal another one of my dresses like last week, but I let her be. No matter how many times she stole my things, I could never hold a grudge. She would never let me. Ellie had a way with words. She could seamlessly flip a conversation around in seconds. She always knew how to get what she wanted. She always had mum and dad by her side. They always gave her the freedom to do whatever she liked and get whatever she wanted. After being confined between the four walls of her Inpatient Room for years, Ellie deserved to live.

I pulled my phone off my bedside table and put in the password.

2406

24th of June. Ellie’s birthday. Also tomorrow’s date.

3 notifications.

Mum: Have you two eaten lunch yet?

Mum: You missed a call, but the caller didn’t leave a message.

Mum: Text me back.

I tapped my text box.

You: We ate

I swiped away the notifications, and went to my open tab. South Beach, Miami. I had been searching for new places to go for Ellie’s 10th birthday but I always seemed to circle back to the same place we always went. South Beach, Miami. We’d go every year for her birthday. Every year up until the year she was diagnosed. But now she’s turning 10. 

‘Double digits is a big deal! Pretty please with extra sprinkles and a cherry on top?’

She wanted to go someplace else for her milestone birthday, and she’d set me up to find her that special someplace else. 

‘Fine.’ I smiled and she ran in for a hug.

You could probably hear her squeals from outer-space after I agreed to find a place for her 10th. I’d never enjoyed researching quite that much in my entire life.

“I ca…”

A strangled yell snapped me out of the memory.

“Ellie! Are you okay?”

No reply.

“Ellie!”

I sprinted to her room.

There on her bed she lay in my green hoodie, her eyes pressed shut in pain.

“Ellie, you’ll be ok! I’m gonna call the ambulance and you’ll be fine, okay, just hold on!” I told her, my voice strained in panic. I scrambled for my phone.

“Amy… I…” she struggled. 

I dialed. 9. 1. 1.

“I … can’t breathe.”